I live what feels like a hamster wheel life: I’m rushing all the time, to get to places, to get things done and yet I have a consistent list in my head of things I should get done or I would like to do but they never happen. How can this be, when I’m constantly living at 100mph?! I often hear from those around me that they’re reading a book or having a bath, working out, keeping up with a series on TV or slathering themselves in body lotion top to toe at the end of everyday and yet (it feels like) I don’t even get a look in with those sorts of things… For the last few years, I find I’m always asking myself ‘how does she do it?’, ‘how do they have the time for all that?’, ‘why can’t I do that?’, etc.
The things I mention above (you may have noticed) all have something in common: they’re pleasantries, optional, the sort of things we save for our ‘down time’ and a little pampering. Now don’t get me wrong, obviously I understand that (in the grand scheme of life) these are very low in the pecking order in terms of importance but I was starting to feel quite low about it. Feeling like you’re living groundhog day everyday and that there’s not really a lot in it for you gets you down after a while.
This post will not be continuing along the negative, ‘poor me’ mentality, I promise but it is a thought process we’re all guilty of sometimes at least and I was starting to feel guilty of it a lot more than sometimes. It gets to the point when you feel like you’re missing a trick that’s painfully obvious to the rest of the world! In this post I hope to share with you a break through I had quite recently but one that’s kick-yourself simple and not at all rocket science; do please try not to be disappointed.
For a little while now I’ve been focusing on all the things I ‘tell’ myself, you know, the way we talk to ourselves internally, talking our self into (or out of) things, telling our self we’re too fat to wear this or we can’t do that because… And I realised that was the key. I was constantly telling my self I couldn’t this and I couldn’t that and ‘oh poor me because I can’t’… But was I really unable to do these things?
You see, what happens when you tell yourself something like that is (subconsciously) you’ve reached a conclusion. Your mind’s reached a conclusion that no you can’t have a relaxing bath tonight (with that pink glitter Lush bath ballistic that’s slowly dying in your underwear drawer) because there’s just too much else to do. When you reach a conclusion like this, your mind accepts it and moves on. It doesn’t really argue, question or protest, it just moves on. So why do we tell ourselves this crap? Surely we should just tell ourselves the more positive take on things and then we’d accept that instead, yes?
So if I wanted something, like a bath, the (internal) conversation would go a little more like: ‘I’m going to have a bath tonight but first I need to do … and the rest can wait until tomorrow’. So I started to try 2 new things: telling myself yes instead of no and going easier on myself about the expectations I have for that day (if I didn’t mop the conservatory and I chose to read my book instead, no one was going to die).
This could of course be applied on a much larger scale, to items of much greater consequence, for example your work: perhaps you’re secretly dreaming of something new but constantly telling yourself ‘no I can’t do that because’? If you can entertain me, try flipping it and saying ‘yes I could, if…’ instead and see what this small change does to your attitude. For me, it makes me feel really excited and full of possibility…
And as I write this today, I’m already half way through the first book I’ve read since the Twilight Saga came out, I go to the gym in my lunch break at work, my skin is no longer dry because I actually moisturise (top to toe) every night before bed and that pink glitter Lush bath ballistic did not die in my underwear drawer, I enjoyed it last Saturday morning!
The 2 things I hope you take away from this post are:
- to ask yourself: what do you tell yourself all the time and is it really the case?
- could you actually go a little easier on yourself?
What do you tell yourself you can’t have/can’t wear/can’t be/can’t do? What difference would it make to your life if you started telling yourself that you could?
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Thanks for reading x